Anti-Terrorism Cameras on the Lookout for Delinquent Golfers

Wiretaps, omniscient surveillance cameras like the mega-computer type that followed Shila Labeouf's every move in the horrible sci-fi flick Eagle Eye and email evesdropping are a few methods, fictional or very real, that our government uses to keep tabs on what we're up to.

Since the beginning of time, neighbors tired of the kids next door batting, hitting or throwing balls into their yards could've used similar high tech equipment to catch the culprits.

That's exactly what officials at the Port of Everett in Washington State decided to do if an effort to assign blame to the golf balls that had been pelting the port's shipping terminal.

Last week the Seattle Post-Intelligencer reported that anti-terrorism cameras, obtained with more than $2.3 million in federal Homeland Security money, were pointed at the nearby hillside in an effort to solve the whodunit.

After local residents complained and cried invasion of privacy, the cameras were trained in a different direction.

Either way, those responsible for making it rain Titleists have called a cease fire.

"In hindsight, we realize the golf balls are a public saftey issue, not a threat to the terminals in terms of somebody breaking in," port security director Scott Grindy told the Herald of Everett. "Aiming at the hillside probably wasn't an appropriate use."

Because of Homeland Security rules, port officials were unable to comment on what, if anything, they caught on camera. The only damage reported was a broken window in an unmanned pickup truck. According to the report, Mr. Grindy did say there was concern for nearby passenger trains, railroad tracks and a public footpath.

"I think the whole issue is that an avid golfer is not realizing that there's all this stuff below," he said.

Either that or drunk teenagers, or possibly their fathers were having a little fun re-enacting a scene from HBO's Entourage.

This incident should serve to discourage golfers the next time they decide to tee off on a hilltop without knowledge of what is below and who might be watching. A wayward 5-iron could be viewed as an act of terrorism, or at least warrant the attention of a camera intended to keep America safe.

And that means you Briny Baird, who recently took aim at a bullseye inside Petco Park in downtown San Diego from a nearby rooftop in order to raise money for charity and win people free PF Chang's lettuce wraps.

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