What has Tiger Woods been up to since he left the 18th green at Augusta National Golf Club in a huff on Easter Sunday?
Well, Mr. Woods went to Washington, D.C., and paid a visit to President Barack Obama to check out 44's new living arrangements. He then took some time to meet with the media to promote his PGA Tour event, the AT&T National, scheduled for July 2-5 at Congressional Country Club. Topics of discussion included his linguistic dexterity when it comes to household chores, Michael Jordan's chances of breaking 100 at Bethpage Black, his own Masters missteps and what exactly a week following a major consists of for Tiger Woods.
"Nothing," Tiger told Washington Post sports columnist Thomas Boswell, who wrote an interesting take on the World's No. 1 golfer . "I usually do nothing at all for a week. I don't touch a club. I barely leave the house. The last thing I want to do is go to a restaurant. I sit on the couch and watch TV. I used to play video games. Now I play with the kids...and I eat. You wouldn't believe how much. My metabolism is ridiculous anyway. I lose a lot of weight at a major. So I probably eat six meals a day for most people."
There was also the matter of cheering on his hometown NBA team, the Orlado Magic. Woods was on hand last Sunday as Philadelphia rallied from an 18-point third quarter deficit to beat the homestanding magic.
Last night, El Tigre took a break from drowning his Masters sorrows in empty calories, again attending the Magic-Sixers playoff series. The Associated Press took note.
"Tiger Woods was again at his courtside seat across from the Sixers' bench," the AP noted in the game notes. "Woods is a central Florida resident and usually attends the biggest Magic games."
A guy tries to get out of the house to catch the game and the news media blows his cover. Tiger better brush up on his Swedish for the honey-do list he has coming this weekend.
"I only speak a little Swedish," Woods confessed at his AT&T National media day. "Read it better. But I understand 'Take out the trash' and 'Clean up the house.'
"Actually, I understand those in Thai, too," Woods added in reference to his mom.
And when Tiger does get permission to watch Dwight Howard and Co., but ditches early to partake in an underground poker game or enjoy a few frames of cosmic bowling, the AP again ruins his alibi.
Their scribe covering the Magic-Cavs blowout from earlier this month scribbled, "Things got so bad that even central Florida resident and the Magic's most famous fan, Tiger Woods, left his courtside seat at the end of the third quarter and neve returned."
I remember watching that game with a good friend of mine, and as the EPSN cameras panned to Tiger, I mentioned, "Who do you think those guys are sitting next to Tiger? Do they say anything to him. Make a joke maybe?"
My friend responded by assuring me that those gentlemen were only placed to the right and left of Tiger as "buffer guys" to prevent other overzealous fans from ruining Tiger's viewing experience, and weren't actually allowed to talk to Tiger.
That would make sense for the world's most recognizable athlete who just so happened to name his 155-foot yacht "Privacy."
Only Tiger's boat can't leave the dock without being accosted by onlookers and members of the media.
On June 18, 2006 the New York Times wrote an article that began, "Tiger Woods attracted his usual large galleries last week at the United States Open at Winged Foot Golf Club. But a mile away here in this quiet Westchester town, fans have also been turing up to see his boat."
Ridiculous. It looks like Tiger will have to stick to the couch and the course. He's probably not the only one counting down the days until the U.S. Open.